The Dark Art of Writing Long-Form Sales Pages

There are only a few things that this Sumo is intimidated by...

1) My Mom (everyone should be intimidated by their mom)

2) The chihuahua from those old Taco Bell commercials (dogs shouldn’t speak with accents)

3) Joanna Wiebe of Copy Hackers (I’ll tell you why...)

It’s a short, admittedly strange list... (minus the Mom part, fear the Mom)

You see, my intimidation of Joanna comes from her ability to write sales pages...

They’re good. They’re really good.

And it’s difficult to keep my wallet closed whenever she puts out a new book on Copy Hacking.

I... must... have it.

That’s why when her new ebook, The Dark Art of Writing Long-Form Sales Pages came out, I had to have one of our sales Sumos tie me in my chair, tape headphones on to my head, and blast Rebecca Black’s Friday song...

Don’t ask questions... we all have our skeletons...

But here’s WHY I had to have it...

It’s packed with 246 pages of time-tested, proven answers, like:

• When to use short copy vs. when to use long copy – yes, there’s a time and place for each
• How bloggers can save a ton of anguish by not just running with a sales page
• The truth about why we love to read the P.S. (Super important topic)
• 6 little-known, never-discussed long-form advertising “genres” that will help you start writing your page
• What the difference is between “state of awareness” and “state of sophistication”… and why those even matter (This alone is worth more than all of Joanna’s ebooks together)
• The 3 things every copy hacker MUST do before writing a single line of sales copy
• A genuine, honest-to-goodness way to find the story that sells your product
• Why curiosity, nostalgia, distrust, and fear are your friends
• And a ridiculous amount of highly valuable information that’ll move your prospects to say, “Shut up and take my money!”

Each topic in this killer sales copy ebook has a video companion hosted by the Copy Sorceress Joanna, spilling the dark secrets that the BEST and WEALTHIEST Marketers know all about... that you NEED to know too!

As Rebecca Black’s Friday song started playing for the 5th time on repeat, and my eyes started to glaze over, I started drooling thinking about Part II of Joanna’s long-form sales page copy ebook, because she also covers...

• The punctuation mark that can do more for you than any short-form copywriter could
• All the ways to squeeze more sales juice out of your headlines
• What shouldn’t go inside those uber-gigantic lists on sales pages
• The 6 tools that trigger ideas for writing sweet, sexy, savvy body copy
• Exactly what “future pacing” means when it comes to copywriting
• The nitty-gritty on testimonials – is quantity better than quality?
• 3 steps to take ASAP if you have a product but no testimonials
• How many incentives to use… when to use them… and what exactly to use
• 4 ways to write a product demo that the late, great Billy Mays himself could be proud of
• How closing a sale is like getting that first kiss
• A clear, unabashed reality check: the only way you can get your money’s worth out of any copywriting book or course

If there’s one book you read about making more money than you thought possible online, that not only teaches you about kick-ass copywriting, but also how to kick other marketers’ asses, this is THE book you should have with you at all times.

Because the third and final section of this Dark Art book shows you how to bring your page to the highest standards by...

• Putting the words in control – not the visual design (If you know anything about 37Signals, they’ll tell you that they’re writers first, designers second...)
• Formulaically using these 2 words at the beginning of your sentences to overcome a major, common objection
• Following this no-brainer Hollywood trick that has surely worked on YOU before
• Tapping into the prevailing desire for instant gratification… even if your product’s results aren’t “instant”
• Swiping the underlying awesome idea behind “Dr. Elliott’s Five Foot Shelf of Books”
• Leveraging the secret behind the “Pocket CB” to rename your product (An ingenious way that copywriting legend Joe Sugarman used to sell millions of units by simply renaming)
• Editing to make the words explode off the page… not to meet arbitrary “rules” for length
• Achieving visual appeal… without sacrificing the proven formatting tricks of sales pages
• Optimizing the 3 most important spots on the page
• Knowing when to stop

Luckily, Joanna stopped by the AppSumo HQ, saw that I was tied up, sweating in my own drool, and released me from the bonds of horrible music to let me know that she’s giving us her Sumo sized ebook.

An ebook that’ll take your products and services to the next level without coming off as a sleazy I-Only-Want-Your-Money marketer, and help you get customers who happily buy from you day in and day out.

A way to craft long-form sales pages to seriously move units, and become a TRUE copywriter that the late copywriting legends David Olgivy and Gene Schwartz can be proud of.

A way to do long-form copy right, that actually makes marketers (and you) STINKING rich — shockingly fast...

As I wiped off the drool and my sanity started to roll in, I told Joanna that I needed her new book... pronto... before Friday, Friday, Friday... damnit...

And for letting Joanna save me, I agreed to sell her ebook to all our Sumo-lings for ONLY $22. Yep, just $22.

Imagine that... getting a book that’s well worth over $100 for amazing, high quality content, that’s easy to understand - whether you’re just getting into the market, or you’re a veteran who needs some new strategies - for only $22!

Not enough, you say...?

Joanna feels the same way, and would never dare ask small business owners, startup founders and new copywriters to shell out a measly $22 for JUST a PDF and some videos...

So she’s also throwing in:

• An 87-point checklist for writing sales pages
• A Federal Trade Commission “cheat sheet” to help you steer clear of writing one of those bad-for-customers sales pages
• The questions you should ask your customers in a survey – so there’s no need for you to delay surveying your customers just ‘cos you can’t think up the Qs
• Unlimited access to a growing swipe file of contemporary sales pages

Boom! Done deal. You just can’t find valuable content like this on the web, and you definitely won’t find it for this price (she normally charges $49 for this.)

You also won’t find this deal for long, because when that timer counts down to zero, you are SOL, my friend...

Friday.

Sincerely,
The “What Day Is It” Chief Sumo

P.S. There’s a huge amount of info in this ebook, info that could potentially raise your revenue, increase traffic to your site, and, well... make you rich. But if some reason (mainly because people don’t follow through with the content), you’re not happy, just let us know, and we’ll give you a full refund, 100%, no questions asked.